This is what it is like when you lose a child

I was walking through Superstore yesterday, and I saw a bag of cookies that I used to buy when the kids were young. I walked over, picked it up and immediately I had to put it down because I suddenly felt like crying.

I saw a pair of seat covers being advertised a few minutes ago and it reminded me of how excited Sam was to show me the slip covers he had bought for his chairs when he moved into his apartment.

Randy and I were out looking for a sectional couch on Black Friday for our TV room in the new house we are moving into and I saw a bench like one that I had given to Sam … I had to walk out of the store in tears.

Whether it is a favorite food, or a song, or hearing the name Sam or listening to the guys I work with who were his age, talk about things I knew he also enjoyed : it hurts. Inevitably, many times a day I am reminded of something that, although I’m not going to ever be able to forget, will trigger a memory and there I am…. having to walk away or risk tears that I try so hard to hide from everyone.

How is someone supposed to live like this?

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

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