Bye for now

I always end my calls to loved ones with ” bye for now”. It means that I will talk/ see you later. I never say goodbye. My last call with Sam, just a couple of hours before he died, I said ” bye for now. I love you”. If there is anything that has comeContinue reading “Bye for now”

I navigate through the highs and lows of grief and sadness and at every turn, I find myself lost. My life was cut into two : first, the life we had with Sam. And then suddenly, life after Sam. My first life journey began Jan 22, 1966. I was born; I grew up; I married;Continue reading

The officer in charge of the military inquiry into my son’s death reached out to me the other day. I’m not sure how i feel about that. It was nothing bad, nor was it anything good: he was just letting me know that he had reached out to the authorities in charge to find outContinue reading


There are so many words and terms around suicide. I’m not really sure why; whether it’s trend, or avoidance and denial of reality. I read a line where one woman referred to her loved one as having died by ” s”. I’ve heard people use the term ” completed” , or ” transitioned”. ” Committed”Continue reading “Acceptance”

Some days are OK. Alot of days are not OK. But special holidays? They are hard. It’ll never be the same. Nothing will ever be the same. The emptiness; the hollow. No, nothing will be the same again. Time will bring healing . Time will realize a new normal. They say. What’s a new normalContinue reading


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