Compassion

Grief can be a nasty thing. I can’t believe the coldness of some people who are grieving.

Recently, a mom in a bereavement group that i belong to spoke about her son being incarcerated in prison for life. She misses him and grieves that he has lost his future and his freedom. She misses being able to see him every day. Her grief is different, but it is still grief none the less. While I agree that it probably isn’t the right group for her to belong to since her son still is alive and she can still see him; talk to him; hug him: we can’t. But instead of kindly suggesting that she might be in the wrong place, a few people launched on her. They were actually brutal to her.

If the death of our loved ones – in my case, my son, doesn’t teach the grieving an ounce of compassion or empathy for what others are struggling with on this journey, then they are not learning anything from the lesson that they were sent to this life to learn. In my belief, we have to keep coming back until we get it right. To be mean, and cruel and rude to anyone who doesn’t match your journey tells me that you have completely lost touch with your soul and who you are : which is an energy of all encompassing light and love.

I get that anger is a stage of grief, but it’s not right to treat others like shit. We never know what someone is going through at any given time. We never know when our cruel words might push someone over the edge.

This particular group is for parents who have lost a son. Our son’s died. But that doesn’t give us reign over the struggles of all human beings who are on this journey of life. If losing your son hasn’t heightened your spirituality and taught you empathy, then I’m truly sorry for you.

Grief is an awful thing. It can twist and distort our minds and even our bodies. But it is also a beautiful thing because it is the love that we have for someone who is very special and very loved by us. I feel truly blessed that my son chose me to be his mother and he would be devastated if his death : therefore he….were the reason why I had turned into a cold and embittered person.

We should have compassion for others. I know that not everyone was born with empathy. Sometimes i envy those people. But we are all capable of compassion. I am blessed that i had my son for his lifetime – no matter how short.

To those parents who were cold and callous towards that mother, all I can say is this : Let your son’s death teach you selflessness rather than selfishness. Everyone is on a journey. Just be kind. Always, just be kind. Maybe my son would still be here if more people were.