An excerpt…..

I didn’t write this, but it is beautifully written. I’ve been fortunate to be surrounded by love and support, but I have spoken to others not so lucky. Apparently a grief counselor wrote it and I applaud them. Read on.

🌹 💐 🏵 🥀 🌹 💐 🏵 🥀 🌹 💐 🏵 🥀 🌹 💐 🏵

A widower / grief counselor wrote this.
John Polo

Serious question: Is your child six feet under? Oh wait, are they a pile of ashes?
They aren’t?
Then, sit down.
And shut up.
Once a grieving parent. Always a grieving parent.
No, this isn’t a plea for sympathy.
No, this isn’t even an angry post.
This is an honest post.
This is a passionate post.
This is a real post.
Sit down.
And shut up.
Unless you watched your child die. Unless you buried your child.
Sit down.
And shut up.
Do not tell a grieving parent how they should be living.
Do not tell a grieving parent how they should be acting.
I am sick of seeing grieving parents bashed for trying to pick up the pieces of their lives.
I am sick of seeing grieving parents shamed for trying to find their way.
Hell, for trying to find ANYTHING again!
We are lost souls. On a journey to find our self again.
And YOU want to judge?
Do you know the courage it takes to go back out there after your child has died?
After you watched them die of cancer. Or a massive heart attack. Or suicide, car accident etc….
After you watched them fall to their knees. And clutch their chest. And take their last breath.
After you walked in on their body. Dead. Because they took their own life.
You have no idea.
Do you have any idea how badly the loss of a child messes with your mind? With your heart? With your soul?
No. You don’t.
So sit down.
And shut up.
You are not allowed to judge.
You are not allowed to pass judgment as you drive home to your children.
You are not allowed to pass judgment as you eat dinner or have the ability to call your children.
You are not allowed to pass judgment as you cuddle up on the couch with your child.
You. Are. Not. Allowed. To. Pass. Judgment.
Sit down.
And shut up.
Stop judging.
Stop thinking that you know what the hell you are talking about.
Because you do not.
Your life wasn’t ripped from you.
Your future wasn’t destroyed.
Sit down.
And shut up.
This was not our choice.
This was not the loss of a dog. Stop comparing.
This was not their time to go.
This was loss of one of our babies no matter how old.
If that place is so much better, send yours there and send mine back.
Sit down.
And shut up.
The next time you see a grieving parent try to be a little kinder.
You have 2 choices.
You can either sit down and shut up.
You can give them a standing ovation.
For their heart. For their courage. For their bravery.
Those are your two options.
And your ONLY two options.
You. Do. Not. Know.

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

3 thoughts on “An excerpt…..

  1. I posted this same thing on my Facebook page recently. I love it. So true.

    I always read your blog. Every post. And I feel for you. My heart breaks with yours. If you haven’t already, you should read the book, It’s ok that you’re not ok,” by Megan Devine. It really spoke to me and helped me. Peace and love momma. Michael’s lol. FE 37.


      1. Thankyou. So much. I think I have the book… but I have stacks of books that I have bought to read in hopes to find an answer. I’m not even sure what the question is that I’m trying to find an answer for anymore. I guess there is no answer to any of this to be honest. But I have some time booked up on the ocean front so I’ll sit in the sun and finish reading the book since I’m pretty sure I started reading at some point. Bless you. Love and light.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: