It was 11 weeks ago today that I lost my son to suicide. I am caught in the abyss now and the fear of never finding my way out terrifies me every day. I will carry my son’s pain and that is a burden that I will carry for him so that I can know that he is at peace. But I know that eventually I need to let up on the torment and abuse I impose on myself every day, on what is now hell on earth for me , as I walk this walk of despair and sadness. Our children would not want us to suffer. And it is not that easy…. but with time, I know the grief will change over to something that will be easier to exist with.

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

3 thoughts on “Abyss

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