It was 11 weeks ago today that I lost my son to suicide. I am caught in the abyss now and the fear of never finding my way out terrifies me every day. I will carry my son’s pain and that is a burden that I will carry for him so that I can know that he is at peace. But I know that eventually I need to let up on the torment and abuse I impose on myself every day, on what is now hell on earth for me , as I walk this walk of despair and sadness. Our children would not want us to suffer. And it is not that easy…. but with time, I know the grief will change over to something that will be easier to exist with.
Abyss
Published by iamtherealjude
I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath. View more posts
For the Love of Sam 
In time, however long it takes. Everyone is different and suicide complicates the greiving process. Be gentle on yourself.
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Thank you. Yes, grief is complicated for sure. I wish it was something I didn’t have to go through. But that is the price of love.
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You’re right and aren’t we lucky to have felt love!
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