It’s been 7 weeks and 4 days since he left us. My son loved Thanksgiving and this one was going to be hard. Initially, I wanted to opt out but my spouse Randy seemed to really want to enjoy a turkey dinner and his family had invited us so I woke up this morning and made a trifle to contribute. Randy’s family are wonderful people: they had set a place setting for my son unbeknownst to me, complete with a framed photo of Sam and his girlfriend taken almost a year ago.
I pay attention for signs these days: always hoping for one from my boy. They never get old and I appreciate every moment that I feel he has something to do with. And tonight, I felt him there with us.
After dinner, Randy’s Aunt made tea and she served us all in fancy cups with saucers. I had drank almost half of mine when I noticed the cup : It had CFB Trenton written inside the cup. Mine was the only cup like this at the table. It was a souvenir tea cup from a military base in Eastern Canada. CFB stands for Canadian Forces Base. Trenton, is almost 5000 kms away from here, in Ontario. It’s not only where I moved here from 4 years ago – 2 years before I met Randy: it’s also where Sam was when he died. Randy’s family has no affiliation to our military, and they had no idea that I had lived there. Or that Sam had died there. In fact, Randy’s aunt had no idea where the cup had even come from.
The night got stranger after that.
I noticed a flash of light on the ceiling: almost like you would see if the glass of your watch reflected off the sunlight. Except it was already after dark. Shortly after that flash, we played a card game called ” golf”. The point of this game is to have the lowest number of cards at the end of each hand. Kings, jokers, and ace cards are the ultimate goal; beyond that you need duplicates to zero out your number cards. There is not much strategy to the game: its more ” luck of the draw”. I’m not much of a card player to say the least, but the hands dealt to me were all loaded with kings, jokers and aces. And the numbered cards I did draw, were duplicates. We played nine hands: I won almost every hand. My overall score was more than 20 points lower than the closest player, so I won the overall game. It was surreal. Throughout the evening , I kept Sam’s framed picture on the table in front of me.
I miss my son more than I can possibly explain. I wish he was here. I wish my phone would ring right now, and when I answered it, I would hear his familiar ” hey ma”. But I really felt like he had a ” hand” in that card game tonight. I’m just not that lucky, nor am I any good at cards games. And that tea cup! What are the odds?
For the Love of Sam 