My son died by suicide 7 weeks ago. I still am in disbelief that he is gone. But I guess we never get over the shock right? Especially when they choose to leave this world.
I know he is at peace and this is the only thing that brings me comfort. Some days grief let’s me out into the world and I almost feel like I can take a breath. Other days, grief keeps me hostage and i feel like I’m going to suffocate. I have no choice but to face this head on because it’s not going to go away.
My beautiful son has given me gifts since he left: whether it be dragonflies, music, electronics acting funky, shadows…. I have awoken singing the words to a song I don’t really know and haven’t heard for years…. the lyrics, as if in answer to my woeful cries of ” why Sam? ” as I fell asleep only hours before.
Our loved ones departed this world, as we also will one day. But I have no doubt that they still walk along side of us. We have to be open and receptive to them and understand, that coincidences – when they happen over and over, are not usually a coincidence. Pay attention to your dreams. You will know the difference between a dream and a visitation: I assure you.
Imagine the reunion when you cross over. Often, the thought of that is what gets me through my darkest hours.