Gifts and signs

My son died by suicide 7 weeks ago.  I still am in disbelief that he is gone.  But I guess we never get over the shock right?  Especially when they choose to leave this world.  

I know he is at peace and this is the only thing that brings me comfort. Some days grief let’s me out into the world and I almost feel like I can take a breath.  Other days,  grief keeps me hostage and i feel like I’m going to suffocate.    I have no choice but to face this head on because it’s not going to go away. 

My beautiful son has given me gifts since he left: whether it be dragonflies,  music,  electronics acting funky, shadows….    I have awoken singing the words to a song I don’t really know and haven’t  heard for years…. the lyrics, as if in answer to my woeful cries of ” why Sam? ” as I fell asleep only hours before. 

Our loved ones departed this world,  as we also will one day.  But I have no doubt that they still walk along side of us. We have to be open and receptive to them and understand, that coincidences – when they happen over and over,  are not usually a coincidence. Pay attention to your dreams. You will know the difference between a dream and a visitation: I assure you. 

Imagine the reunion when you cross over.  Often, the thought of that is what gets me through my darkest hours. 

Author unknown

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

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