Today, as I was driving to work, I had another sign from my sweet boy. As I often do now, I talk to him on my drive to work. I asked him to choose the next song. While I waited for the song playing to finish, I asked him for an answer to a question. The next song started…. and the lyrics clearly gave me an answer. And as if to confirm that this wasn’t a mere coincidence, i noticed that the car ahead of me in traffic, was the same model and same color as his car. And the license plate started off with the letters FYM. When I looked at those letters, the words ” for you mom” spoke inside of my head.

Sam loved music. Of all things Sam….music was one of the most prominent things in his life. It brought him much comfort and much joy He enjoyed it immensely. The collection of guitars and bass’s , and various other music instruments filled his home. So it is only fitting that much of the signs he has given us have been around music.

The drive to work was not the first time I have asked him to change the song on my Playlist. Last week, I was tired of what was playing on the radio and asked him to find something better. The next song was ” I lived” by One Republic. The words: pretty darn fitting. Another time, I was laying in my bed and talking to a friend over messenger. I was telling her how a few family members had been having issues with electronics since Sam left us. I typed in the words, ” Sam, it’s cool that you do that but I feel sad that you haven’t done anything to mine so that is know you were around me”. Literally, at that moment, downstairs, the TV volume started going up and down uncontrollably. I was astounded but figured that it was just my spouse adjusting the volume, when he came running up the stairs, wide eyed, and said ” Sam’s here. He is messing with the TV volume”. He had no idea I was in a conversation and as it was a text conversation: he wouldn’t have over heard. Oddly enough, as if it wasn’t already “odd”, the show he had been watching downstairs was about drumming. And my friend and I had also been talking about Sam and drumming.

The gifts they give us, are their way of communicating with us. It is their way of letting us know they are around. Sam….is still around me. And I feel this. I only wish he was here in person.

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

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