One year ago today, we laid you to rest in a beautiful place surrounded by heros: a place so serene and so sacred. I felt you there that day: I know you watched in amazement at how many were there to say goodbye and to support us in our deepest time of sorrow.

We had a custom black granite urn made for you, with your rocket ship that was so meaningful to you etched into the stone. I now wear that rocketship proudly inked into my own flesh in memory of you.

That night, as we remembered you by the river in Merrickville, a blue dragonfly danced in the gentle breeze over our heads as the sun began to set while I let some of your ashes that we held back from the urn scatter in the breeze, as you had requested.

This past week, a blue dragonfly landed on Tess and Blaise right over the place where she wore a pin with your picture on it as we took pictures after their wedding ceremony. I had not seen a dragonfly on the property in the days leading up to the wedding, or in the days after. And trust me: I had watched for one.

So I know you were there with us.

Sam, my heart is made up of four quarters : one for each of my children. With a quarter of my heart missing, I am no longer full. I miss you so much.

Rest peacefully my sweet child. You are loved more than you ever knew. I love you, and I’ll see you on the other side.