I’m struggling. I don’t feel like I’m coping. Coming into the holidays is worse than I thought it would be. I still cant begin to imagine being in this world without my son Sam. Yet, here I am…living in a world that I can not imagine. It’s been almost four months. I thought it would start to get better with a bit of time. But it is not. The thought of 2022 is too much : I feel like I’m leaving him behind in 2021. I don’t want to leave 2021. I’m stuck there anyway : Aug 19 2021. I can’t move from that spot. The panic has started to set in. The depression is setting in. I’m trying to live literally moment by moment. How am I supposed to survive this? I don’t want to survive this. 😦

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

4 thoughts on “Survive

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