This is Sam

This is my son Sam. He loved his dogs, he was kind and he was gentle. He was a soldier. He was the youngest of three boys in a family of 4 children ( the youngest is a girl). He was a brother to Kris Matt and Tessa. He was a gifted guitarist and he loved to sing. He was so handsome.

As a young boy, he had so much imagination. He learned to talk while his brothers were in speech therapy, so Sam learned to over articulate while he spoke very slowly and clearly. He had curly hair and the biggest smile.

When he was 5, he pulled his own two front teeth so that he could get money from the tooth fairy. ( they were barely loose). He wanted to grow up to be a Chippindale’s dancer. He loved Cher.

Sam loved pirate ships, and Pokémon cards. And Magic cards.

As he got older he followed his two big brothers into a love of music. And guitar – especially guitar. He once performed in a Battle of the Bands. He screamed and I couldn’t understand what he was singing, but the audience loved him.

He once wore tights in a school play called ” Men in Tights”. And he rocked those tights.

He built me a bird house one year in shop class. I accidently left it on the wooden fence in a house we lived in, but then sold. Id give anything to have that bird house back. 😦

When he was in highschool, he got into mischief one day with his buddies. They vandalized an old dilapidated shed. When the police were waiting for them at the end of the path, they all denied doing it. Except for Sam. He confessed and was going to help the owner rebuild his shed. Except the man was going to tear it down anyway.

Sam never felt like he fit in. Anywhere. Even with his own siblings: within his own family. I felt like I spent most of his life defending him. I loved him. He was my sweet boy….

This world was too much for such a beautiful soul. He died by suicide Aug 19 2021. He used to call me almost every day and I miss him more than Id miss my next breath if I couldn’t breathe.

I will speak his name for a long as I have breath in me. Sam

Samuel James Hills

February 17 1990 – August 19, 2021

Published by iamtherealjude

I am a mother of four beautiful grown children. My son Sam: My youngest boy, lost his fight with his demons on Aug 19, 2021. This blog is a dedication to my sweet young man who I will forever look for in the beauty of this world until my last breath.

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