My name is Judi. I’m the mother of four beautiful children. On Aug 19, 2021 , I lost my third child to suicide. Sam was 31.
As a parent to four children, my biggest fear in life, was to ever lose a child : how could I ever go on and be a good parent to the remaining siblings, when I would want to die with the one I lost? Well, now that is my reality. I don’t know how to be a parent who has lost a child.
I started to write this blog, because, well, writing is good. It allows the author to release the words, and the emotions that reverberate and hover in their mind, and in their heart. Grief is a human emotion. It’s part of life, and it’s part of love. I honor my son with my grief. I wish I didn’t have to. My life was so much more when he was here. I’m fragmented now. But, for his brothers and his sister, I have to continue on this side of the veil, until its my turn to go.
My hope, in making my grief public, is that it may help someone going through the same ” hell on earth”, to know that they are not alone. And my hope, is that maybe someone who is reading this, who is struggling with the demons inside of their mind and thinking about leaving, may discover just how broken they leave their loved ones behind. I hope that they will get help.
The climate that we are facing in this current world, is hard. We need each other now, more than we ever have.
Be kind to one another. Just always. Be kind.
For the Love of Sam 